September 17th.

As the time approached for him to be taken up to heaven, Jesus resolutely set out for Jerusalem. As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, "I will follow you wherever you go." Jesus replied, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head."

The things the animal nature does in the time when it is not threatened amount to a kind of survival, actually more of a preservation of its self—its values and comfort. The ultimate aim of the animal nature is to survive. That is what it's always engaged in and it marks all animals by that constant need, the subconscious preoccupation just to survive a little longer in all the ways it is driven to. To keep breathing, to beat its wings furiously in an attempt to escape—to put off the inevitable a little longer, to get more food, a better position, a higher paying job, a more prestigious house; to learn more and feel better, righter and as able to survive as it can.

He said to another man, "Follow me."

Where was Jesus heading when he told the man to follow him? To Jerusalem to die. When we think of following Jesus, we think of marching somewhere, or going somewhere to do "the work." Following him, though, is a secret passage into the unknown place that is hidden from the humans. If they tell you it's to their church with all the others to pray and do the necessary things to become "saved," you know they're feeding you a line of crap because the way to the hidden God is just that—not publicly disclosed. The only way it can become disclosed to the humans is if the knowledge of that passage is given, in a supernatural way. Not a dramatic showing of lights and smoke and every other crazy human interpretation of the spirit, but the secret, subtle revealing of information that happens on such a deep level that it cannot be even spoken about properly—why these words lack any power to be able to communicate what it is.

Following the real Jesus doesn't mean getting more money, or more friends, or a bigger house, or a better place in heaven. It means going to die—accompanying him to, and being with him, in his death. Just fading out of sight of the humans so that you can go deeper in to where the Father is—hidden from the humans and not where they expect Him to be. They can make up anything they want and dress as fancy as possible, have the most people at their revival rallies or anything they assume is some kind of proof that they can show the way to God, but that doesn't change what the reality is—He is hidden and not just found by presumptuous humans who think they can just get to him by means they concoct and control.

God is the God of irony and the reality of what seems not to be, just to see who will search for Him and not give up just because the human experts say such and such, no matter what level of human expertise they have aspired to. It's all just a system they created and maintain, for their benefit, to give them the "assurance" that what they have is real so they can just stop the search for God because they can control their destiny with their made up necessities of salvation they've extracted from the words, which aren't even meant for them.

What has to die is not some theoretical concept about sin that doesn't mean anything tangible to us in reality, but the animal nature that constantly, instinctually wants to lead us to just be and remain animals who don't need to find God. That force of nature that lives in the humans also desired to lead Jesus, but was unable to because he loved the Father and wanted to do His will instead of his own (what that nature instinctually wants to make the humans do). The last thing the animal wants to do is die, but that's what will separate the sons from the rest of the animals—our desire to die to the life that we lived for so long in the flesh, which still begs us to serve it and survive, live for ourselves a little longer until we finally die.

Then he said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it."

We love the human things, the ways of the animal, and are led by that nature (to serve ourselves) instead of the Father, because we know them so well, and they give us a familiar security on many conscious and subconscious levels. We want to continue to do the things we have learned to comfort ourselves with, and the thought of abandoning them brings out a dread in our being that's difficult to face. If it isn't, we're not facing it or we don't understand it. Once we do see it we start to know how huge and overpowering it is, how utterly impossible it is to deny. Letting go of the things that give us hope and peace in our own little bubble of our existence inside our heart where we live our secret life isn't a matter of just deciding and doing. It is such an impossible process that it requires understanding things that must be revealed i.e., they aren't just common knowledge nor can they just be got by going out and getting.

You are demanding proof that Christ is speaking through me. He is not weak in dealing with you, but is powerful among you. For to be sure, he was crucified in weakness, yet he lives by God's power. Likewise, we are weak in him, yet by God's power we will live with him to serve you.

The reason that we have anything is because the Son listened to the voice of the Father, who made him weak and powerless in human terms so that the Son had a genuine choice: he could take up his rightful power because he was the great Son of David, or he could wait for what the Father wanted to give him so that He could be his power (the One who raised the Son up from hell, because he trusted the Father. The intention of the Father that the Son be with Him where He is raised him from the grave; without it he would have died like every other animal does and just remained there, rotting. He did what the animal nature most fears, because although he had every right to the throne of David, he chose to *not* be strong, to not take up the power that was indeed at his disposal, but deny that in favor of trusting the Father.

Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels?

The Son had the power to call on the angels in the temptation account, when that power was tempting him to be an animal and prove to the humans who he was:

If you are the Son of God," he said, "throw yourself down. For it is written: "He will command his angels concerning you, and they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone."

And he could have called them when he was on the cross, dying, to pull him down and usher in the Messianic age and then his people the Israelites would have given him the respect that was due to him, being the authentic Son of God.

Those who passed by hurled insults at him, shaking their heads and saying, "You who are going to destroy the temple and build it in three days, save yourself! Come down from the cross, if you are the Son of God!"

He knew something else, though, that the Father wanted his identity to be kept hidden so that only those few men knew who he was. He wanted the Son to accept His way for him, that he remain hidden and private from the humans, because that meant he had to trust the Father first that He knew the best thing for the Son (do not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil), and second that the Father could and would give His own Son what He wanted him to have.

"But what about you?" he asked. "Who do you say I am?"Peter answered, "The Christ of God."

Jesus strictly warned them not to tell this to anyone.

Why would Jesus tell his disciples not to tell anyone his actual identity? Because he knew it was the Father's desire that he wasn't lauded and celebrated by the humans, even for what he actually was. That is how God is, and He wanted His own Son to be the same way—hidden, secret, undisclosed to them except that tiny group of men chosen to be able to know, the information that was itself specifically disclosed to them by the Father:

Simon Peter answered, "You are the Christ, the Son of the living God." Jesus replied, "Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by man, but by my Father in heaven."

The Son of God cast his power and everything that power could have gained him in the natural aside, specifically by *not* disclosing to the humans who he was, but instead by keeping his identity secret from them. He gave up his life for the sake of his Father, knowing that He would reward him by giving the Son what was better by trusting the Father—that he didn't need to do it himself. Like a helpless young child, like a lamb being led to the slaughter, he didn't seek his own way and will, which is the opposite of what every other human does and would do because they follow the animal which is driven to protect itself (by calling down the angels).

Jesus withdrew from that place. Many followed him, and he healed all their sick, 16 warning them not to tell who he was. This was to fulfill what was spoken through the prophet Isaiah:

"Here is my servant whom I have chosen, the one I love, in whom I delight;
I will put my Spirit on him, and he will proclaim justice to the nations.
He will not quarrel or cry out; no one will hear his voice in the streets.
A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out, till he leads justice to victory.
In his name the nations will put their hope."

His actions are a declaration to the sons about trusting the Father which is all the Father wants from His sons, instead of aligning themselves with what the humans can give them—an agreement that might seem appealing but is actually a lie they are holding onto because they plain and simple just don't know, so they must create something that sounds appealing to their animal ears. Trusting the Father is what the first humans *didn't* do. They trusted the animal who lied to them, which caused the curse of them being bound to the animal via the same nature in the first place. Trusting the Father is always going the opposite way one instinctively wants to go—away from the way of the animal (popular, much company) and toward the Father (hidden, lonely and undisclosed).

Only the poorest people of the land were left.

The Son had faith that the Father would raise him up if he were killed, although it took everything to actually believe that because he was a human (the firstborn of many brothers) and not a god. Everything in the natural pointed to the opposite, that he was just going to die and that would be the end of his struggle, which is what those few men who believed him assumed. He was the only one who believed it to be the right thing to do, because he was alone and had to be alone in order to do the work that would save the family of his true brothers.

He withdrew about a stone's throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed, "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.

The angel didn't come to save him from continuing along in the journey to die, but to trust the Father that that was His wish, but to strengthen him so he could continue to trust the Father. Because we have heard the story so many times, and-or assume he was a god, we think that it was easy for the Lord to go and die in weakness—to just lay down his life and not fight back. We forget, or we never realize, that he easily could have taken up the power that God put in him to accomplish what many people in Israel wanted at that time. He easily could have justified using the power that he knew was at his disposal to accomplish for himself, saying it was for God that he did it; just like Abraham could have said that he could not kill Isaac because God had told him earlier that he was the child of promise. In fact Jesus may have had this very story in mind when he was praying in the garden, thinking that perhaps he might be allowed to go the way of Abraham and have his life spared because he was willing.

Do not lay a hand on the boy," he said. "Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son.

I live in a high and holy place, but also with him who is contrite and lowly in spirit,
to revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite.

This is the one I esteem: he who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word.

Being willing to be made docile and weak, like one who is dying—having a broken and contrite heart, unable to protect our self—is like a newborn baby. Totally vulnerable in every way and completely at the mercy of its parent to protect it. Dying to what makes us feel complete and mature (the way we learned to protect our selves when we became mature) is not something done easily, or without prompting. The humans wouldn't take that enterprise upon themselves unless they knew there was a reason to do it. That is the reason we say that one must be called, one must be experiencing the revelation of the Father's reality within him, in order to even be able to comprehend that requirement, let alone start to actually do it, because it's too unappealing and totally impossible to accomplish with the power that is present in the humans. The most they can ever do by that power is some cheap imitation, which is on display weekly in churches everywhere—self-appointed humans assuming to be able to get what isn't for them.

That rebellious animal nature which continuously sets itself up against God is a backwards transformation away from what all the humans naturally do when they move from helpless children to independent adults. That is what God hates—a rebellious, stiff-necked people who cannot be easily led into the places He desires them to go. They don't want to go into the places that the animal nature is afraid of, what it fears and dreads more than anything, because the animal nature is all fear—of not surviving, of not being smart enough, of not being acceptable, of not being rich enough, or pretty enough, or of not having a good enough position amongst the humans to afford it the respect is instinctually craves. In short its purpose is to protect the animal from losing its life and everything it associates with life (once sheer physical survival seems in the bag).

What the humans desire and run after naturally is the instinct of the animal nature; and like all animals the humans are driven by animal instinct. That is the sinful nature, what is naturally inside them as per the terms of the curse. There is no overcoming that without God purposefully choosing to do that in them, because He wants that one to become His son. He must be given eyes to see, then turn, and be healed from the condition that perfectly plagues all the humans indiscriminately. Otherwise it can only ever be the ever-running plastic sideshow that is man trying to get to God on his own, trying to own God and claim that he owns Him by the things he claims to have gotten for himself. In effect that is not needing God, or more exactly not needing to continue to search for Him who is hidden because they have Him in a box (they know who He is and how He works).

One of the more important messages within the words is that that's not possible, although for the animal who instinctually craves to be able to hold and control everything so they can feel safe, they do not and will not accept that. They would rather be content with their little pile of dung they call their knowledge of the living God who cannot be contained than continue to search for Him. Yet one thing we can deduce is that since God purposely hides from the humans, there must be a good reason (He wants to be found). Listening to and trusting the "experts," who are just bullshit artists, sometimes even good actors, is not the way to honestly search for Him. It's just an easy way out, that isn't a way out at all.

Can a blind man lead a blind man? Will they not both fall into a pit? A student is not above his teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like his teacher.

To protect ourselves is always our foremost thought, which is why we run tirelessly after the things that perish, so that we can feel safe. That is one example of the animal instinct in us, driving and leading us to follow it instead of God. The animal had an unrestricted reign over us up to the time we were made conscious of the life, the living word in our heart. That same word, the spirit of God and life of the Lord, will set us free from this prison, and make us as our brothers were in the first century. Our goal, God's will for our lives, will slowly materialize for us as we're being transformed, and begin to more fully understand what following Jesus meant to them, and what it means to us who have the same life living in us that they had.

If we are constantly providing for ourselves, how can the Lord provide for us. This is why he told the disciples to go out with nothing, so that they would see how the Father would provide for their needs. He wants to take care of His sons, like little children who cannot care for themselves. Full-grown adults are like hissing old tomcats who learned how to fend for themselves, a lesson from the natural animal world. Human animals are no different; they control their world around them, and they decide how they will serve God.

Take nothing for the journey—no staff, no bag, no bread, no money, no extra tunic.

If we are constantly promoting ourselves, how can the Lord promote himself in us? The voice of the Father is unintelligible when the chaotic sounds of the humans ar so loud in us all the time. Paul knew that becoming weak in his natural body meant the Lord could work through him. If Paul's natural tendency to promote himself—which is what the animal nature does instinctually—was always there, then the Lord would always have to fight that in order to do anything. Becoming a weak and dying bird was what Paul finally saw as the greatest thing to be, because then the Lord could display his power through Paul without having to fight off Paul's animal nature all the time.

God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him.

That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.